I've been hibernating, albeit keeping myself busy on the new book. But I think, after 43 years on the planet, I've come to the conclusion that snow and me just simply don't go together. I have sworn more in the last few days than I probably have done in my life time. I've probably been (and probably still am) a demon to live with and The Farmer, I have noticed, is spending rather a lot of time with the sheep. Better company I shouldn't wonder. Amy had a day off on Tuesday because of the awful road conditions and I let her stay in her jim-jams until mid afternoon when she got dressed and went out sledging. When I was 13, I didn't like snow then either so I guess, looking back, there wasn't going to be much hope for me 30 years later.
My nightmare with snow started when a girl called Karen, yes, that's her real name, bullied me on my journey to and from high school and thought it was hilarious to throw snowballs at me that were laced with ice. It wasn't funny. I used to get off the bus a stop too soon just to avoid her nastiness. Why she picked on me I have no idea but I guess she saw me as an easy target. When her brother joined in I told my mum and they had to speak to Karen's parents about it because I was scared of even walking to the bus stop. My mum is a pussy cat and that must have been a very difficult thing for her to do.
Bullies have a long term effect on their victims. She wasn't the only person who bullied me at school but because she was much older, I was genuinely scared of her. And now, every time it snows, I think about that nasty bitch and the way she made my life a misery.
Amy came home from school the other day, think it was Monday, and told me a few kids had been throwing snowballs in the playground. All very harmless isn't it. Kids having fun, enjoying themselves. Then she told me one snowball hit her in the face and it really hurt. That's what happened to me when I was 13. It wasn't actually Karen who had thrown that particular snowball but someone who hadn't meant for it to hit me. As it happened, there was ice in that snowball and it cut my face. I'm all for having fun with the kids, letting them make the most of sledging and snowballs and building odd-looking structures with scarves and carrots. But don't ask me to join in because I've been at the receiving end of the snow-bullies.
Brought to you by Victor Meldrew, aka CJ.
Hi CJ; I can understand how you feel a little. I used to hate the snow and ice as a child and would always dread the snowballs. Sounds wimpy but when you've had snow shoved down your neck or in your face when you're not expecting it, it isn't nice. I hated it so much that I used to do all I could to avoid the morons even if it meant going the long way home. Now that I'm older I've grown to enjoy walking through snow but I still hate snowball fights. Deb
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. I think you are right, it doesnt matter how many years pass, bullies from your childhood still have the ability to get under your skin and it takes a simple thing to spark off those memories. I hope Karen and any other bullies out there have finally grown up and feel remorse for their actions.
ReplyDeleteI too am hibernating and despise all snowball throwing. Witnessed a boy craftily preparing a snowball to throw at his friend the other day. The expression on his face was anything but friendly!
ReplyDeleteI was bullied a bit while growing up and it's made me very strong. When I saw the same thing happening to my kids I went and saw about it immediately. No one has the right to make fun of you and hurt you while they do it. The main thing is, you shouldn't take it lying down and you should get some support and help if you need it.
ReplyDeleteugh...sorry she was such a nit to you...bullies suck....i rather like snow...we are supposed to get more on friday...woohoo!
ReplyDeleteI also dislike snowball throwing - and it pretty much always ends in tears to be honest. I don't see the fun in getting a face full of ice, so I do tell mine not to throw any at people at all. Spoilsport maybe, but I'm happier that way. The memory of a bully does stick forever - but probably not with them sadly. I'd love to find an old one now and put them on the spot and make them squirm, see how they liked it their kids were being targeted. But of course I wouldn't, I'm just not like that.
ReplyDeleteI hate snow too but only because I'm terrified of falling when it's icy. Bullying is disgusting, in any guise.
ReplyDeleteMy Mum and Dad had their car attacked by a gang of about 40 youngsters on their way home on Friday night. It really frightened them. Yes it was just 'snow', but having so many pelted at you as you drive carefully along on an icy road is not good. They could have skidded.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you had a Karen in your life. I had some of those too and yes it effects you forever. It changes who you are and who you might be. Hugs xx
Kids can be so sodding nasty when they want to be and it takes a lot of character to keep on believing that you're a great person. My only consolation is that looking back, I have a better life than any of the bullies, and actually, it makes me wonder if that was always the case...
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I loved ice when I was a kid but it terrifies me nowadays ;)
I wrote a very similar blog post today, as I was also bullied on my way to and from school when I was 12. It was a horrible experience.
ReplyDeleteDuring the snowy winters here gangs of teenagers would terrorise people by throwing snowballs at them as they passed, really horrible behaviour :( As with everything else like that I teach my children that activities are only fun if BOTH parties think they're fun, otherwise they count as bullying or intimidation. If children want to have snowball fights, that's fine, but just don't involve innocent bystanders
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I was bullied at school too and it does stay with you. It must be extra difficult to deal with the current weather.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and a hairdryer
People will forget what you said; people will forget what you did. But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel. Long after a particular happens, the memory of it pops up at the oddest of times. Bullying is a very serious epidemic; unfortunately, it has been going for eons of time. It's so sad. Sorry this happened to you.
ReplyDeleteBullies do not realise that their treatment of you stays with you no matter how old you are!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I adore the snow and getting out in it I hate to walk past groups of kids however young as I know I will be a target.........I use a walking stick so I would be an easy target!! That's what takes the edge off it for me :) I wonder if that Karen girl even remembers what she did?
That was a horrible thing for Karen to do, I wonder about the mentality that gets a kick out of tormenting a fellow human being. Bitch is right! saw a thing on FB recently recommending parents/teachers to get kids to take a piece of paper, crumple it, stamp on it etc, then try to smooth it out. It will never smooth out, and that is akin to the damage that bullying does. I though it was a very good analogy, and intend to use it with my class.
ReplyDeleteIt's horrid that your enjoyment of snow is forever tainted by Karen's mean actions.
That is definitely bullying. I can't think why anyone should put ice in a soft snowball. No one minds a harmless soft snowball but to deliberately make them hard seems both dangerous and very antisocial.
ReplyDeleteHoping Amy's was a mistake.
Maggie x
Nuts in May
I was bullied by one person when I was young. She was the daughter of a very good friend of my parents, and she was my age. And evil. I was glad we finally moved away. This girl ended up having much trouble in her life and when I first heard of it, I wasn't sad for her at all. I felt she deserved it because of all her bad karma. It wasn't until I was in my 40's when I saw her again. I went to her father's funeral to represent our family because no one else could go. She was actually elated to see me, and was so kind to me, holding my hand for dear life as I sat next to her during the service. And she had no idea of the pain she caused me as a child. And that's when I simply let it go.
ReplyDeleteKate, that comment has really touched me. I have tried so hard to let my phobia of the snow not get to me but it still does. But what you have done is to be commended. I imagine Karen doesn't even remember me all these years later, and I very much doubt she'd recognise me now, or I her. Thank you for making me feel better about this.
DeleteThank you for all your kind comments. It is hard but I've been out a couple of times these last 2 days and even though my feet are freezing, I'm trying really hard not to let it get to me as much.
ReplyDeleteCJ x
I know a lot of the time I moan about health and safety gone mad ... one Norfolk council cutting down beautiful horse chestnut trees in case one fell off and hurt someone, hanging baskets being removed in another market town and so on, but in the case of the headmaster of the school where my husband works, who banned snowballs for the very reason you mention (ice), I have to say I agree. Shame banning bullies in schools isn't as easy to implement and adhered to as well.
ReplyDeleteHopefully we only have one more day of snow.
ReplyDeleteI am pleased you are back blogging again.
Ice in a snowball is plain nasty and obviously dangerous too. Hope that memory fades for you one day soon. Im a bit fed up of snow now tbh - I really want some sun!! (Wow, you're 43??)
ReplyDeleteBullying does indeed stay with you. In fact it's hard to know which aspects of your personality, have been majorly shaped by it. I think I've become at times overly fierce and fiery as I wasn't able to be at school to those who bullied me (and there were a lot).
ReplyDeleteAs for ice balls, ugh! I'll be glad when all this snow finally disappears. I don't hate it as much as you, but it has definitely gotten old now!!! x
Ps your dog banner makes me smile as it reminds me of my childhood dog, a Border Collie named Skipper :)
DeleteThey are 4 very cheeky dogs - they are actually as cheeky as they look!! But wonderful companions, wouldn't be without them.
DeleteWish we had seen the snow but not the snow ball bullies!
ReplyDeleteI am a snow hater! Its cold and simply has no real use at all! Curse the snow-bullies!
ReplyDeleteI guess I am lucky my Scottish, Italian and Norwegian immigrant ancestors decided to stay in Connecticut instead of northern Maine or Michigan or Buffalo, New York, but I wish they'd settled in a southern state because I really HATE snow. In fact I hate every single aspect of winter. We did sledding and snowmen and ice-skating as kids, but my mother had to practically force me out the door. "Go put some roses in those cheeks," she would say. "Do I have to?" I would answer, "I'm reading..." I had my share of bullying as a kid -- I don't recall if it involved snowballs -- but that's not why I hate snow. I just have no use for it whatsoever. COME ON SPRING, HURRY UP!!!!!!
ReplyDelete