Time goes so quickly when you let it; standing back and letting the moments soak into your soul will leave you with memories to cherish and a vivid reminiscence of happy occasions. I will always remember a lady telling me many years ago just a few days before my first wedding, to remember to take a step back and enjoy the moment. Her wedding day went too fast and she needed the guests' photographs to remember the smaller details, like what her best friend was wearing, the delight on the guests' faces when they first admired her dress, the love in her new husband's eyes as he recited his vows. My first wedding was a beautiful day even though it was a marriage not to last, and my second wedding was equally as beautiful in its own right. Something I will never forget about my wedding to The Farmer is the way he cried when he saw me walk towards him on my brother's arm. He was completely overwhelmed, whilst I stayed composed, making sure I remembered that look of total adoration for the rest of my life.
Apart from The Farmer and Amy of course, another person who loves me unconditionally is my mum. She has just spent a week at the farm with us, a week that has passed far too quickly. I remember when their car drew up in the driveway and I saw her smiling face peer round the corner of the house. I recall the huge bag of food she carried in and placed on the kitchen table, containing food I knew we'd never eat. I think about her electric toothbrush and toiletries littered along the bathroom windowsill, and her comb sat on the dressing table. On Monday night I had one last look around the guest room to see it filled with her belongings, a pair of slippers neatly tucked away under a chair; I noticed one of the wardrobe doors ajar because she'd filled it with her clothes; a small chintz alarm clock on her side of the bed, ticking away with no remorse.
Now the house is filled with her scent, the beautiful aroma of Chanel, wafting through the east wing, lingering on the bedding I have yet to wash and the dressing gown she leaves hung up behind the door. I'll leave the bed for as long as possible before I strip it, in order to get the most out of her visit. The unconditional affection she has for me has taught me the value of motherhood, and it is her that I thank as I watch Amy and wonder how my daughter will remember me.