Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Just Can't Take The Risk

This week so far has been so mixed I'm almost afraid to say either way. The change in routine from school day to holiday is becoming more evident in Amy's moods as she gets older - and here was me thinking it would get easier. She's good at finding things to do but her continuous demands for attention do occasionally take their toll. If you think your toddler's temper is bad, you want to spend a day with my daughter. She may not be as bad as some but when she's in a mood it's damn difficult to bring her out of it without getting a barrage of abuse. However, I do thank my lucky stars now that I can drive again because I am able to take her places, like the beach for example, and a local village fair the other day. Getting out of the house if only for an hour, can have a big effect on her moods, making life a little easier for me. If only for sixty minutes.

Last weekend I got this crazy idea about taking Amy to the cinema. Crazy, you ask? Why crazy? For people with photosensitive epilepsy, a visit to the cinema is taking a risk. Some films are okay but others, most, are unsuitable for epileptics. Flashing lights and the flicker frequency of many movies is too much for a sufferer to bear and is a potential hazard to trigger seizures. I was told this by my consultant a couple of years ago and I've stood by what he said. But, I get fed up of relying on others to take Amy to the cinema and even though my sister has taken her a few times, the films that Amy now wants to see are ones I have to almost bribe others to watch with her, so you can see my dilemma. Going to the pictures is something kids, and adults alike, have done for decades and it's seen as an enjoyable experience. So I threw caution to the wind and sent out a tweet the other day asking for people with photosensitive epilepsy to contact me. I was overwhelmed with retweets, far too many to mention here, but as a result of them I was able to chat to a few different people from around the world, one in particular in Melbourne, who just so happens to be on the same medication as me. Catherine Kowalski (same name!) also had her meds changed about the same time as mine, two  years ago. She gave me some great advice and has told me a few scientific facts also, which were particularly interesting - though I won't share them on here. We've agreed to keep in touch and I'm thrilled to have found a woman with the same condition as me, on the same meds, living thousands of miles away. The power of the online community never ceases to amaze me.

Then I chatted to a lovely gentleman whom I've known online for a while now known as Alastair Millen. He also has photosensitive epilepsy though has struggled to find the right medication to suit him. He's been a great support to me and has also given me some very useful information. Something we discussed was the potential danger of emergency vehicle lights, you know, the blue flashing lights we see on police cars, fire engines, ambulances. I was told by a police officer that the lights on police cars can affect people with epilepsy, something I found particularly disturbing, especially being a driver. Alastair wasn't sure if this was correct and so did a little research of his own; he said: "If there are several vehicles with their lights going, and there are a lot of reflective surfaces about, if it's dark and also if it's raining, you end up with the lights all going on and off at slightly different times and the reflections and refractions of those all combine and give the overload that kicks the seizure into happening." This makes perfect sense to me, and I reckon it could be a danger to people who suffer from other neuro conditions, too. I'm quite sure there will be a very scientific and technical explanation somewhere that I haven't found.

In conclusion to this, I won't be taking Amy to the cinema this week and I do feel sad about that. She's been very good in that she understands the risks involved - having witnessed me having seizures, I'm sure she doesn't want to go there again. So for now, I'll stick to asking friends and family to take her and we'll keep walking on the beach and in the fields. And when I'm out shopping, I'll look out for the films on DVD that she wasn't able to watch at the pictures.

22 comments:

  1. Does she have a friend that she could watch the film with while you sit outside and read/have a coffee/blog? I don't know if this is appropriate for Amy.
    Anyway, I think you are absolutely right to not to take the risk of going in yourself. On eafternoon's entertainment is not worth another driving ban for months.
    Have a lovely summer whatever you do. xxx

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    1. I've been thinking about doing exactly this, MS. I think it would be a great idea and I'd be happy to sit outside and wait for them.

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    2. Not sure if your cinema is located at/near a mall but that sounds like I great idea. Drop Amy and her friend(s) at the cinema, go do your thing and be there when the film is over. Sure beats a driving ban.
      Hopefully, that's feasible for you.

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  2. I echo Midlife Singlemum's words. Teenagers also love to go to the movies without mum, but as above, I don't know if this would work for Amy.
    Think of it this way... going to the movies is screen time, although you can have a great chat about it afterwards. Going on outings to the beach etc are all wonderful opportunities to engage with each other.. win, win!
    Enjoy your holdiay! xx

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    1. You're right, like I said to Midlife Singlemum, I have been thinking about doing that and letting her have this independence that I know is particularly important. I couldn't let her go to the cinema on her own with a friend but to sit and wait would probably be fine.

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    2. Especially as the friend could come out and get you if there is a problem. I hope it works. :)

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  3. this makes me a bit sad that you cant take her to the cinema but i do fear that the danger would be too great...i like th first idea up there of getting a friend in on this with you...

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    1. Thanks, Brian. Definitely something to look into. I am quite sad about it too because I did enjoy going to the cinema, but like you say, the risk could be too great.

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  4. Hi CJ, I came on Blogger just to do my dove blog and there was your blog, top of the list! Glad to see you are still smiling despite your and Amys probs. Best wishes to you, Faith x

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    1. Hi Faith, lovely to see you here. Hope you are well and the doves are as beautiful as ever x

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  5. I think you are being very sensible not to take the risk. I feel sometimes that lots of Police car lights flickering makes me feel quite odd & I sometimes look the other way. I don't like strobe lighting either and I distinctly remember when I was a child running alongside railings that produced flickering by the sunlight behind and I remembered it made me feel odd so I try not to get into those situations now.
    Maybe some people have a tendency but don't have anything actually happen.

    I think that it is good that you look out for the DVDs of things Amy wants to see.
    It is always a help to have friends who have the same problems. Thats a real bonus of the internet.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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    1. It is such a bonus, Maggie, I really was overwhelmed by the support I received. And to think my little tweet went so far as Australia was pretty incredible. Catherine is a lovely lady and I feel very lucky to have made another contact and friend.

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  6. I also can't take my daughter to the cinema (or theatre) but it is because I can't sit in the seated position for long enough without being in serious pain and left unable to walk. I also rely on other people to take her but now even her friends parents have taken to just dropping them off outside and picking them up later! (I know this is not possible for Amy yet though).

    Although it may not help much, I will say my daughter also has foul moods particularly at routine change times and sometimes I feel like I have achieved on a day that I didn't actually kill her. Ahhh bless the mothers of tiddlers who think things will get easier LOL.

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  7. Thank you for your kind words CJ,

    I can totally understand the sadness that come from having to play it safe and have to pass on things as it puts you at risk of having a seizure. Going to the cinema with the family is not something I have done often, and I have felt bad for not going, but with the effects used in the films they were going to see, it would have been unwise for me to join them. I love the suggestion of letting Amy go with a friend and you meet up with a friend for a coffee. It gives Amy that feeling of independence going to see a film with a friend and gives you time to spend with a friend as well.

    With films that carry a seizure warning, I always get someone, most often my wife, to watch them first as she knows if it will pose a risk to me. Even some films that have NOT carried a warning, she has watched before I have and has advised me not to watch them. I have a long list of films, mostly horror and sci-fi, that I would love to watch, but I know if I do I will have a seizure.

    Photo-sensitivity is not the most common trigger for seizures, just 5% of cases, but turns many activities into a potential mine field owing to the nature of the trigger. This is a good page for more information if anyone wants to know a bit more about Photo-Sensitive Epilepsy http://www.epilepsysociety.org.uk/aboutepilepsy/whatisepilepsy/triggers/photosensitiveepilepsy

    Alastair

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    1. Thanks, Alastair. I've never noticed a warning with films, even on the occasions in the past when I have been to the cinema. I'll see what I can do regards a friend. Thank you also for the link to the Epilepsy Society. I hope we have raised a little awareness through this post and made at least one person think about what people living with epilepsy go through.

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  8. Tough call, although you probably have made the choice. I love the idea fo going with a friend - in fact you could go with a couple of friends: the film-loving person takes Amy to see the film and the coffee-loving person sits outside and talks to you over a nice hot latte. Everyone happy!

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    1. It sounds like a good plan; now I need to find a friend!

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  9. Think that's probably wise but difficult decision to make. Good luck with it.xx

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    1. It is difficult, but like Addy says below, there's always a way around it.

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  10. I used to have a phobia about sitting in confined spaces and trapped in a row where I couldn't get out if my phobia got the better of me, so Greg used to take Kay to the cinema, if need be, while I stayed at home. Kay hasn't suffered for it. You can always get DVDs for Amy to watch at home, if she can't go with other people. There are always ways round most problems, so I shouldn't worry she is somehow missing out.

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    1. It's good because Amy's loves watching DVD's too, so she does have a very large collection of them. But it's safer this way. I think I've started worrying about her missing out more since she's got a little older - I see a lot of her friends roaming about but Amy just doesn't have the street-wise attitude to join them.

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  11. Oh that's such a shame. If the TV is ok maybe you could do a home Cinema experience? Make some pop-corn, rent a DVD and cuddle up on the couch? It's far comfier ;)

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