Do you ever get the feeling that changes are afoot? I've been having that for a while now. Life has a habit of passing us by until one morning we wake up and realise we need to do something to make it just a little bit more fulfilling. Since the beginning of this year, life for me has been a whirlwind of ups and downs. It's not great that the downs have been over-shadowing the ups too much, but I know that unless I do something about this roller coaster that has become my existence, I'm going to regret far too much. I've never been one to sail round the world, or do a bungee jump over Niagra Falls, nor have I been tempted to swim the channel or walk up mount Everest. Ambition has never been at the forefront of my mind. I'm not a risk taker or a socialite, nor am I interested in being on the front cover of Vogue or photographed in the arms of David Beckham. But life right now has come to a cross roads; I know which way I want to go, but I also know the path isn't yet clear enough for me to tread.
I was told a while ago that things would happen for me. That was a very broad-minded statement and one I took with a pinch of salt. That person also told me I had to be patient. Very patient. And I have been. If I'd have been told this years ago I would have laughed and exclaimed how patience wasn't in my vocabulary. Some of us want to do everything now; we want to achieve everything there and then leaving no room for looking forward. In some ways I'm quite spontaneous. I make the odd rash decision that sometimes leaves me wishing I'd thought it through more. But I have also found that if I think things through carefully and plan my next move, I can grab my goal with both hands. I'm waiting for such a lot to happen this year. As time goes on I hope to be able to share my changes here, and maybe one day I'll look back on this post and remember the junction of where I now find myself. It's like asking yourself "what do I do next?", when you've achieved everything you thought was possible. I have a lifetime's worth of what next's, and a second's worth of regrets.
This post resonated with me very deeply. You're a wise woman and have nothing to fear, your life will always be interesting and you'll always do what's right for you and Amy. Anything else is just, as you say, part of life's rich tapestry.
ReplyDeleteLucy x
Be on the lookout to capitalise on an opportunity by all means, but I suggest you don't try too hard to MAKE change - that up/down pendulum will just become more erratic. 'Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans' ... go with the flow.
ReplyDeletei def think change is always afoot, it is in the recognizing it that we can seize those opportunities so i wish for you open eyes to see those next steps for you
ReplyDeleteI had similar feelings last year, and indeed some significant and unexpected changes have happened since then. I think part of the process is being ready for those changes, and it sounds like you are doing that. I hope they are the sorts of changes you would choose for yourself x
ReplyDeleteIt could almost be writing this post. This year has already seen a great deal of changes but because I'm such a control freak I find it difficult to be patient (especially when there is an unknown quantity to many of the changes). Like Roy said, it's sometimes about enjoying the process of change, rather than just waiting for the thing(s) to happen and forgetting to enjoy things in the meantime.Rx
ReplyDeleteSorry, that should say it could almost be me writing that post.Rx
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel like this but just embrace the day because it is a bonus for me, I think.
ReplyDeleteI find myself thinking, *If only I'd done this or that because now its too late.* Seems like a waste of time to do this though.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
very interesting post, I can't really help because only you can know where you want to go and when you're ready to take the next step, but know we're all behind you, or beside you, or wherever you need us to be.
ReplyDeleteThe Chinese bit about living in interesting times is a curse, for people who love stability and tradition. For you, I hope this year is interesting in that it brings delightful new possibilities into your life.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and Bear hugs!
This post has really prompted me to think about things here, so thanks for writing such an inspiring post x
ReplyDelete