These light mornings are definitely suiting me more than the January ones did. I think I suffered from the winter blues this time. In fact, I reckon I've been suffering for years but just haven't put two and two together. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm turning into a miserable and unsociable old hag, and I have to admit it worries me. It's hard to remember what my life used to be like as I try in vain to recollect my 20's when I strutted my stuff through the office in a short skirt, tight fitted blouse and a svelte size 12 figure. I haven't let myself go on purpose, but I can see a decline in my appearance. The problem is, I need the motivation to do something about it, and living where I do, it's an almost impossible task to undergo. With ones hand stuck up a sheep and ones child having a meltdown because her Nintendo 3DS has run out of charge, being that slim brunette who discussed forecasts and shipments with the Czech Republic, feels more than a lifetime ago. I think I can honestly say, it was me in another life.
I don't miss those days of high powered executive going home to an empty flat, but there are times when I think about them. I'm a nostalgic old bugger I know, but they were good times and not ones to be forgotten. Pre-child is part of who I am. I didn't have many friends back then and was probably just as unsociable as I am now, but I didn't sit in a lonely office thinking out loud, banging my fingers on a keyboard and hoping the right words would appear. I didn't have a hundred and one things clamouring to reach the surface, only to be forgotten about when the word 'school' flashed up on my phone. Back then I used to say I'd never have kids. I had no intention of getting married - been there, done that and was pretty depressed that it hadn't worked out.
How quickly our lives change when we have kids. Many people, some I know personally, have this deluded vision that their social life will continue, their freedom will not be a thing of the past, and life will tick along quite nicely as they scour through their little black book for a suitable babysitter. It doesn't quite work like that however. The room you keep for best turns into a playroom; the stairs turn into a toy hazard; the fridge turns into soft cheese and formula, while your sex life turns into when you can be bothered.
And once that bundle arrives that has changed your lives for good, you wouldn't have it any other way.